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Communicating with BJJ Coaches: Building a Team Around Your Child

Parents talking to their childs martial arts coach

For parents of young martial artists, the journey through the ranks of martial arts is not just a series of lessons in self-defense; it's a pathway to personal growth, discipline, and self-confidence. As guardians of these young warriors' futures, parents have a unique responsibility and opportunity to support their child's development. A crucial aspect of this support system is the relationship between parents and martial arts instructors. This blog post aims to guide parents on how to effectively communicate with BJJ coaches, fostering a collaborative environment that places the child's best interests at heart.

Communicating with BJJ coaches: Understanding the Coach's Role

The first step in building a strong relationship with your child's martial arts coach is understanding their role. Martial arts instructors are more than just teachers of technique; they are mentors, disciplinarians, and sometimes even surrogate family members to their students. They have a profound influence on their students' attitudes towards martial arts and life. Recognizing this role can help parents appreciate the coach's contributions and approach interactions with respect and openness.

Initiating Open Communication

Open lines of communication are essential. Parents should feel comfortable approaching coaches with questions, concerns, or observations about their child's progress. However, it's equally important to choose the right time and place for these discussions. Avoid interrupting classes or coaching sessions. Instead, ask if you can schedule a time to talk or see if there's a preferred method of communication for less urgent matters. This respect for the coach's time and space sets a positive tone for the interaction.

Sharing Your Child's Needs and Goals

A key aspect of communicating with your child's coach is sharing insights into your child's personality, learning style, and any specific needs they might have. While martial arts coaches are adept at reading their students, they're not mind readers. Providing context about your child can help the coach tailor their approach, ensuring your child gets the most out of their training. Additionally, discussing your child's goals—whether it's improving self-confidence, preparing for competitions, or simply staying active—helps the coach align their teaching with your child's aspirations.

Receiving Feedback

Equally important is being open to feedback from the Jiu Jitsu coach. Sometimes, this feedback may not be what you expect or want to hear, but remember, it's aimed at helping your child grow. Coaches can offer invaluable insights into your child's strengths, areas for improvement, and how they interact in a group setting. Ask for specific examples and actionable advice on how you can support your child's development at home. This two-way street of giving and receiving information creates a partnership focused on the child's well-being and growth.

Supporting the Coach's Efforts

Supporting the martial arts coach's efforts extends beyond the dojo. Reinforcing the values and disciplines taught in martial arts at home can amplify your child's learning and personal development. Whether it's practicing techniques, encouraging persistence in the face of challenges, or modeling respect and discipline, parents play a vital role in solidifying these lessons. Acknowledging the coach's impact in front of your child also reinforces the coach's authority and the value of the training they're receiving.

Navigating Challenges

Despite the best intentions, misunderstandings or disagreements may arise. Perhaps you feel your child isn't progressing as expected, or you have concerns about the training methods being used. In such cases, it's crucial to approach the situation calmly and constructively. Schedule a time to discuss your concerns directly with the coach, focusing on your child's experience rather than casting blame. Often, a solution can be found through open dialogue, whether it's adjusting your child's training plan or providing additional support in specific areas.

Celebrating Successes Together

Finally, remember to celebrate your child's successes with their coach. Whether it's a new belt, mastering a difficult technique, or simply showing improvement in focus and discipline, these milestones are significant. Acknowledging the role the coach has played in these achievements not only strengthens your relationship with them but also shows your child the value of hard work, perseverance, and teamwork.


The relationship between parents and martial arts coaches is a cornerstone of a young martial artist's journey. By fostering open, respectful communication, sharing insights and goals, and supporting each other's efforts, parents and coaches can create a powerful team centered around the child's development. This collaborative approach not only enhances the child's experience in martial arts but also teaches them valuable life lessons about respect, communication, and the power of working together towards a common goal. Remember, in the journey of martial arts, we're all allies in nurturing the next generation of disciplined, confident, and respectful individuals.

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